It is getting terrible now.... I am having a mild implosion... 40 or so minutes before I have to get into my car and start the long 1 and half to two hours in peak hour traffic to ensure that I am not late for my punishment session as tardiness is sure to be rewarded with additional strokes....my heart is beating fast and I am all agitated.... I am afraid and yet perversely excited as being punished is a thrill and I like the pain... it excites me oh so much....
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