Tick tock, tick tock the clock strikes 6 pm... counting the days and hours..

As I sit here counting the hours until my next visit to Heavyhand Smith (HH) , for a long overdue spanking and caning, I reflect on the first time I sat waiting for the moment to arrive. I am at pains to describe the wide range of emotions that race through me as I waited for my first meeting with HH.

I had found HH's profile online and had struck up a conversation, being completely new to the world of spanking and BDSM,wondered how a submissive approached a Top/Dominant with a request for a spanking and caning.

"Fortune favours the bold" - spurred on by this maxim, I blurted out my request for a spanking to HH . To my delight and surprise, within a day I had a reply to my bold little note- " Be here at 6 pm , on Wednesday! Be on time..."

Oh deary me... what have I done, as soon as the command to appear for my spanking arrived, doubt ,worry and fear beset me.... it had started... the waiting before a spanking, the clock becomes your best and worst friend, every ticking second brings you closer to the moment you so crave, yet fear! You ask yourself, will it hurt much?Will I cry? Will I be able to bear being spanked ? Am I going to run away? ..What will my bottom look like with my panties pulled to my knees? Am I an idiot for agreeing to this?

HH, was very patient with me during the days leading to my spanking appointment, if the truth be told HH relished every moment of my torture! HH listened to my roller coaster ride , should I ? can I? will I ? No , I will not do this! I am an idiot to want to do this!

Like the song of the Lorelei tempted many a sailor to his doom on the rocks, the lure of a spanking ( I am sure) has tempted many a submissive to their own doom at the hands of a Dominant. The idea that I would finally be experiencing my first spanking as an adult woman ( something I had been dreaming about for 20 + years) would finally be happening was frightening yet incredibly exciting... I was surprised at how erotic and sensual I found thinking about my impending spanking!

Waiting for the moment to arrive was maddening, it still is maddening, I picked up the telephone to call and cancel my appointment at least a dozen times, yet could not bring myself to actually cancel. Then the dreaded moment arrived.. I had to drive to HH's office for my spanking, dressed in a skirt with my bottom covered in demure panties, terrified, excited I set off with a brave face on and a heart beating just a little faster than average , my bottom lip quivering just a tad....

Fearful of earning myself additional strokes for tardiness I arrived at HH's office 10 minutes early, tick tock tick tock , waiting in the car was pure unadulterated hell, with every minute my moment of truth was approaching - my mind is telling me "RUN RUN RUN as fast as you can" - my heart is saying " NOOOOOOOOOO , if you leave now you will never know if this is what you have been looking for!"

Precisely on time I ring the bell. HH meets me at the door , looking very stern, making me bite onto my bottom lip. HH leads me to his office, indicates that I should sit down and explains what is about to happen.

We agreed that HH would give me a over the knee spanking to warm my bottom up and that I then would have six strokes of the cane. HH leads me to the office where I will receive my spanking , pulls up a chair and sits down instructing me to lie down over his knees. I lie down over his knees my toes looking for purchase and my fingertips just touching the ground, I feel off balance and try grip the floor with my fingers to not tumble off his lap, vulnerable and completely at his mercy.

As he pulls up my skirt and pulls down my panties to start, my mind is telling me to run, but too late... the moment has arrived. SMACK.............SMACK.......... my spanking has started, it registers in my mind, this is not so terrible.... my bottom smarts a bit but it does not really hurt.... silly girl... this is just the introduction... it is going to burn and hurt much much more....HH picks up the tempo and spanks me with his hand the pace and intensity increasing, I wriggle trying to get him to stop and to get off his lap.

HH,grips me tighter and positions me back onto his lap, my bottom is all rosy and pink and is glowing , I can feel the heat radiate off my well spanked bottom. HH firmly rubs my toasty , glowing bottom soothing the smarting a little ( I sigh an inner sigh of relief , thinking to myslef, Hmmmm that was not bad at all, that did not hurt at all!) I start to wriggle a try to get up , HH pushes me down and reached for his paddle , this is not over that was just the warm up.... SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK in quick succession I receive two smacks with the paddle on each cheek... OWWWWW, that HURTS! HH rubs and sooths the worst of the stinging with his hand, and then proceeds to lay down at least two dozen firm strokes with the paddle, I squirm , loose the grip I had on the carpet with my toes and fingers, feel as if I am going to slide off HH's lap , thinking maybe if I slide off and fall he will stop! It really hurts now, my bottom is smarting and it feels as if the skin is shrinking and pulling tighter... NOOOO , I cannot bear anymore.... as my mind thinks this HH slows down a little thightens his grip on me and lands another  couple of resounding blows.

HH rubs my bottom with firm smooth strokes easing the smarting just a little but it feels like he is rubbing the burn in, it just intensifies the feeling. HH helps me to stand up and leads me to the table and tells me to stand bent over , bottom in the air, panties down .... HH leaves the room leaving me face down on the table... my mind races...am I insane... my bottom is smarting, I am tempted to move and rub my bottom, but sanity and self preservation pervail... do not move, you do not have permission to rub your bottom... if I move will I receive more ? Busy crazy chatty mind.... strange what one thinks of as you stand there waiting bare pink bottom exposed to the world...

I hear foot steps coming down the passage... HH has returned , I can feel him looking at my pink bottom, I feel him moving closer....he has a cold bottle of drinking water in his hand and he rolls the bottle over my smarting bottom, bringing some sense of relief to the smarting.... smooth warm hands follow rubbing the coolness into my smarting cheeks... hmmmmm yes that feels much better...

As I lose myself in my thoughts I notice the hands and the bottle are gone. HH has moved back a little and picked up his cane. Swoosh, swoosh, HH cuts the air with the cane... a terrifying sound... without any announcement HH lands his first stroke, ouch ouch ouch ouch it smarts and burns and itches all at the same time.. I resist the temptation to get on my tippy toes and move .... two, three, four , five and................... six!

HH smooths the burn with his hands, I can feel the welts forming....hmmm but there is deep sense of satisfaction in my tender, glowing striped bottom... a feeling of calm contetnment settles around my heart and mind.... yes .... this is exactly what I have been looking for....this is better than I had dreamed....

HH smooths on some calming lotion, lets me stand face down on the table a litlle longer, and graciously helps me stand and takes me off to his offce for a post mortem of my first spanking ( Aftercare). Gingerly I sit down on the chair offerred ...



A well spanked bottom, not bad for a first time!



So here I sit... it is Monday and the clock is ticking....57 hours and 24 minutes to go till my next spanking... tick tock tick tock ...

Will it be worse on wednesday?

Next blog.... the dreaded moment is approaching......