As I write this it is 34 hours and 20 minutes until I have to be at HH's office.... and I feel as if I am sitting on a ticking time bomb...I am hyper aware and despite having a very crazy full day today ( the diary from HELL) I catch myself time and time again wondering what tomorrow 6pm is going to bring.
Like grains of sand in an hour glass, my fears and misgivings creep into my mind.... why oh why was I so silly to offer my bottom up for a spanking and a caning, why oh why was I so daft to make that bet with HH ? What was I thinking when I stubbornly insisted the Lions would win their rugby match last week ? Why ? Why?Why? The insidious sneaky little fears start taking on a form of their own and when I catch myself I am thinking of what it is going to feel like to have to present myself like a naughty little schoolgirl over HH's lap for my spanking? The humiliation of pulling my panties down and presenting my bare bottom to him. Of having to admit to myself and him that I have been a bad naughty girl ( I have cancelled two previous appointments for spankings - brought about by losing bets on rugby matches) !
It is bad enough to have a smarting bottom form a good old fashioned over the knee spanking, but NO smarty pants me also agreed to having 12 of the best administered with a cane on top of the spanking! Boldly in my negotiations to get what I wanted ( and because it has been so long since I had a combined spanking & caning), I had forgotten how much it can hurt... but somewhere in the recesses of my mind the memory lingers and my brain is starting to bring the memory to the fore slowly with remarkable clarity! And I am reminded that I had promised myself never again after the last double session... yet here I am, once again waiting for the appointed hour and a guaranteed bruised and well attended bottom!
When will I learn not to think my bottom is made of elephant hide and remember that I too am mortal and made of flesh and blood ?
As my panic and apprehension increase throughout the day I am sure I shall have an epiphany or two to share... watch this space for my increasing dread and the undoubted pearls of wisdom I shall spew forth ...
Notes to self......
1. Do not offer your bottom up for a spanking and caning all in one go!
2. Pay your outstanding debts in time!
3. Do not bet on rugby, the Super 15 is just to unpredictable a competition to think about winning!
off to bed for me now.... will certainly be back with more later today!
Tick tock, tick tock.....
Thank you for sharing.
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